My Wife and Kids — Season 5
01 Fantasy Camp (1)
Sep 21, 200423m★ 7.4
Michael can't focus on much else after learning that he'll be going to sports legend Michael Jordan's fantasy basketball camp in Las Vegas. Everyone shares his excitement – but for different reasons – and finds some reason as to why they should tag along. Once there, Michael learns that there's been a mix-up with the game schedule, so he resorts to some inventive ploys of his own to ensure he gets to play his idol.
02 Fantasy Camp (2)
Sep 21, 200423m★ 7.6
Michael can't focus on much else after learning that he'll be going to sports legend Michael Jordan's fantasy basketball camp in Las Vegas. Everyone shares his excitement – but for different reasons – and finds some reason as to why they should tag along. Once there, Michael learns that there's been a mix-up with the game schedule, so he resorts to some inventive ploys of his own to ensure he gets to play his idol.
03 Childcare Class
Sep 28, 200423m★ 6.6
Michael fails a child-care course for grandparents, so Vanessa and Jr. refuse to let him baby-sit his grandchild.
04 Class Reunion
Oct 5, 200423m★ 7.4
Michael is reluctant to attend his high-school reunion until a former rival challenges him to a dance-off.
05 The Fellowship of the Baby
Oct 12, 200423m★ 7.0
When an overwhelmed Jr. thinks he is not smart enough to take care of his own son, Michael tells Jr. that ""Jr., Jr."" is a ""magic baby,"" and that every time he holds him, it will make Jr. smarter. The ploy works, but in the process Jr. becomes somewhat arrogant with his new-found knowledge, so Michael brings Franklin in so that the two geniuses can match wits. Meanwhile, Kady catches Claire sneaking back into her bedroom after hours and threatens to tell their parents, unless Claire does some favors for her.
06 Poker Face
Oct 19, 200423m★ 7.2
Michael advises Jr. that it's ok to spend some time away from Vanessa and the baby, but his advice misfires when Jr. invites Jay along to their all-male poker game. Michael decides, in turn, to crash Jay's all-female book club, where they're discussing the latest book by Angeline Boudreaux.
07 The Proposal
Nov 9, 200423m★ 7.8
Jr. is finally ready to propose to Vanessa, but every time he tries to do so, something interrupts him, including Michael and Jay -- who are preparing to compete against each other in a karaoke competition.
08 Restaurant Wars
Nov 16, 200423m★ 7.6
At first, Michael is skeptical that Jay can be successful at opening her own soul food restaurant. But his competitive and supportive sides emerge when the Hoos, the owners of the Chinese restaurant across the street, use sneaky tactics to put ""Jay's Soooooouuuul Kitchen"" out of business.
09 The Return of Bobby Shaw
Nov 23, 200423m★ 7.2
Micheal's enemy, Bobby Shaw tricks Jr. into signing a contract making Jr. his slave. When Micheal tries to get him out of the contract,they end up in a dance off.
10 The Wedding
Nov 30, 200423m★ 7.4
Jr. and Vanessa announce that they want to get married in two weeks, Vanessa having told Jr. that she wants a small, simple wedding. Michael and Jay offer to help plan it, but instead of something simple and sweet, they plan an elaborate and expensive ceremony that includes dolphins, a castle and 751 guests. Frustrated, Vanessa tells Jr. he needs to regain control of things, forcing him to decide whether he should stand up to Michael.
11 Careful What You Wish For
Jan 11, 200523m★ 6.8
When Jay wishes that Michael would give her the kind of romantic attention that she sees newlywed Vanessa getting from Jr., Michael decides to kill Jay with kindness so he can get back to watching TV and ignoring her. Meanwhile, Franklin tells Kady that he thinks he's too short and goes to great lengths to appear otherwise.
12 They Call Me El Foosay
Jan 18, 200523m★ 7.2
When Vanessa innocently buys Jr. a foosball game, Jr. discovers his competitive nature and becomes obnoxious when he wins. When Michael challenges Jr. and wins, he initially wants to teach his son a lesson about being a good winner. But then when Michael continues to win, his ""fatherly lesson"" goes out the window and instead he becomes obsessed with playing foosball. Desperate, the Kyles have to come up with a plan to break the game's hold on Michael.
13 Study Buddy
Jan 25, 200523m★ 7.2
Michael feels neglected because Jay is spending all of her time studying for her psychology final. He decides to tutor her, but his efforts cause her to fail. To make it up to her, he tries to bribe her professor to let her re-take the test. Meanwhile, when Kady thinks Franklin prefers her smart friend over her, she tries to act more ""brainy.""
14 Sweetheart's Day
Feb 1, 200523m★ 7.5
When Jay insists that Michael buy her a present for ""Sweetheart's Day,"" a reluctant Michael comes up with a scheme to base the price of Jay's gift on her attitude towards him at a particular moment. He shares his plan with Jr., Tony and Franklin, hoping that they will follow the lead, but the only lead is straight to trouble.
15 Silence is Golden
Feb 8, 200523m★ 7.0
Michael reluctantly accompanies Jay on a meditation weekend, where he has trouble following the rule of silence.
16 The Bahamas (1)
Feb 15, 200523m★ 7.2
When the Kyles arrive at the Atlantis, Paradise Island resort in the Bahamas for their family vacation, Michael announces that all he wants to do is get some rest and relaxation-by himself. But no sooner does he settle into his lounge chair for some peace and quiet than his talkative and annoying golf buddy, Jimmy (David Alan Grier), shows up and insists that they spend time together. Michael is relieved to find a way out when Jay invites him to the isolated Magic Island so they can have some romantic fun. As their day winds down and it's time to leave, the boat never shows up to take them back and the couple find themselves stranded in the middle of nowhere.
17 The Bahamas (2)
Feb 22, 200523m★ 7.4
While at the Atlantis, Paradise Island resort in the Bahamas for a family vacation, lovebirds Michael and Jay find themselves stranded on the isolated Magic Island - along with a rapidly rising tide -- and the only other person there who can help them is Michael's talkative and annoying golf buddy, Jimmy (David Alan Grier) -- who refuses to do so since they weren't willing to spend time with him when they had the chance. Meanwhile, Jr. leaves Vanessa and the baby behind so he can enjoy the resort's activities; Tony and Claire hang out at the beach bar and she realizes too late that her island drink contains alcohol; and Kady and Franklin run into his nemesis, Francesco Mumfordi, who has stolen one of Franklin's theories.
18 The Remodel
Mar 1, 200523m★ 6.8
Realizing that the garage is no longer a suitable living situation for Jr., Vanessa and the baby, Jay insists that Michael have it remodeled. When the contractor bids are too expensive for his taste, Michael decides to take on the job himself, with Jr.'s help. But when they get in over their heads, Franklin -- who happens to be a certified contractor - has to come to their rescue.
19 Michael Joins a Gym
Mar 8, 200523m★ 8.0
The same day Michael realizes he can't fit into his favorite pair of vintage jeans, he runs into an old high school friend, the muscular Daryl (Terry Crews), who doesn't look any older than when Michael last saw him. He enlists Darryl's help to get him back into shape and, in the process, becomes obsessed with looking fit and buff. Meanwhile, Franklin fails his first test and fears that Kady will no longer accept him.
20 Celibacy
Mar 15, 200523m★ 7.0
When Jay tells Michael that their love life will be even better if they are celibate for six months, Michael is willing to abide by her wishes, although reluctantly. Meanwhile, Franklin and Kady plant some seeds in the ground to symbolize their growing love for each other, but the seeds grow into an ingredient for a love potion that Jay uses to spice up her romantic dinner for Michael.
21 Jr.'s Cartoon
Mar 29, 200523m★ 7.2
When Jr. wins a national competition for his cartoon entitled ""My Wife and Kid"" -- based on himself, Vanessa, the baby and the rest of the Kyle family -- it catches the attention of ABC. Michael becomes Jr.'s agent, but the meeting with the television executives goes badly, crushing Jr.'s dream opportunity, so now Michael has to find a way to rectify the situation. Meanwhile, Claire threatens to break up with Tony unless he can bring some ""umph"" into their relationship.
22 Michael's Sandwich
Apr 12, 200523m★ 6.8
Michael tries to leave for a golfing trip with a friend, but the family keeps distracting him.
23 Graduation Day
Apr 26, 200523m★ 7.2
Jay is ready to graduate from college, but a series of events ruin her appearance.
24 Michael Sells the Business
May 3, 200523m★ 6.8
Michael sells his trucking business to spend more time with Jay and Junior Junior.
25 R.V. Dreams
May 10, 200523m★ 7.2
Michael buys an R.V. and the family heads to the Grand Canyon for a vacation.
26 The "V" Story
May 17, 200523m★ 7.2
Jay asks Michael to get a vasectomy, but he says no. Eventually he tells Jay that he will go through with it, but then backs out at the last second. Jay says that she will instead get a hysterectomy. After she comes out of the clinic, Michael tells her that he will get the vasectomy, but she then reveals that she is pregnant.